19"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
-Isaac Asimov
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres
"Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance?"
-Phyllis Diller
"There cannot be a crisis this week. My schedule is already full."
-Henry Kissinger
"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."
-Dave Barry
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."
-Steve Martin
"All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911"
-Lewis Black
"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."
-George Burns
I love the Ellen quote about the walking grandmother! Made me laugh. :)
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